Immortals Dir: Tarsem Singh

I’ll get the comparisons out of the way, Immortals is as good as 300 and a hundred times better than Clash of the Titans. Anyone whose already set on seeing the slaying, it’s best to go see it fresh, for those on the fence, here’s the pitch.

Brutal and bloodthirsty King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) is hell bent on destroying the ancient Greek gods. To accomplish this, he needs the legendary Epirus Bow to free the dreaded Titans, who thirst for revenge. Theseus (Henry Cavill) is a lowly peasant who must raise his people against Hyperion’s hordes and save humanity.

It all sounds a bit cornball (and some of it is), but it’s just so stunning to look at. It’s one of the best and brightest 3D films I’ve seen bar Avatar. I tip my golden wreath to director Tarsem Singh, the visuals just pop off the screen. He’s been in the wilderness for 12 years since The Cell, but he’s come back with a vengeance (he’s even in preproduction for the film version of Samurai Jack).  Insane set and costume design, check. Crazy camera angles with stylized scene compositions, check. Nutty scene transitions, check. My eyeballs loving every minute of the virgin oracles, check.

Plus it’s a damn good (looking) cast. Ladies, say hello to your new Superman, Henry Cavill. And Kellan Lutz (Twilight series), Joseph Morgan (Vampire Diaries), Luke Evans (Titans) and even Stephen Dorff have all buffed up for this six pack soirée. Plus the ever-reliable John Hurt lends his gravitas, the gorgeous Freida Pinto (Slumdog Millionaire) smolders as the sexy oracle, though Rourke lets the team down by biting off more scenery than he can chew.

The crazy thing, it’s a completely original script. It’s not based on a game or a comic, and it’s not a sequel or even a remake. But it is the first script from two unknowns, and it shows. It drips in cheesy dialogue and the pace slackens in the middle.

And violent, yes. All the usual beheadings and slo-mo slicing and dicing, which to be truthful, are still so great to watch. When Theseus faces Hyperion’s beast in the burial chamber I was on the edge of my seat. And also covering my 3D glasses at some of the suggested torture. Sad to say Immortals does lacks a bit of Spartacus spice, with only one decent booty shot.

Even if it comes off a bit cheesy, the stunning visuals and visceral fight scenes makes Immortals worth the 3D price tag. Plus it’s the festive season, so go and enjoy a jolly good slay ride.

Clayton Barnett