Snatched, Director: Jonathan Levine

Life isn’t going well for 30-something Emily Middleton (Amy Schumer.) She can’t keep a job. Her boyfriend dumps her on the eve of an overseas holiday. Her tickets are non-refundable and unsurprisingly, none of her friends is willing to go along. She’s a self-centred wreck, oblivious to others and with no one left to turn to – she runs home to Mother (Goldie Hawn.)
Linda Middleton is clearly the reason Amy is unable to function. She is controlling and critical; laden with an array of neuroses, phobias and terrors. No way is she going to Ecuador with anyone, much less Emily. But after an evening of soul-destroying insults and psychological abuse, Emily and Linda are somehow going on holiday together. There’s no way it can go well – but hopefully, given that this is allegedly a comedy – it will be amusing.

They arrive at the resort to the usual mix-ups – and have to sleep in the same bed and “69” it. Linda’s dressed like a nun while Emily lounges in her bikini. “Help” arrives in the form of the delightful Wanda Sykes and a mute Joan Cusack as resort staff, full of advice and dire warnings. Unfortunately, Emily and Linda chase them away.

While Linda hunkers down in their hotel room, Emily meets a hunky dude (Tom Bateman) who seems to be mad about her – takes her out for the day and then to a rave. The following day he offers to take both women out for a drive and show them the ‘real’ Ecuador.

Given that the movie is called “Snatched” one can only hope that a kidnapping (or possibly a double murder) will actually occur – which it finally does, though the lead in was like a long ride around some dusty Ecuadorian backroads in the scorching midday sun that went on forever. While hardly great comedy – the jungle and the bungling kidnappers provide endless opportunity for pratfalls, near misses and suggestive dialogue, along with foiled rescue efforts and clumsily mishandled weapons.

Both Goldie Hawn and Amy Schumer are completely wasted on this movie – and I am a big fan of both women – but there is nothing for them to work with, no room for improv, no memorable moments. Katie Dippold’s (Ghostbusters, 2016) script simply does not contain enough potential comedy or genuine characters we can relate to or laugh at. And Jonathan Levine’s direction – not awful during the action scenes and occasionally spot on timing – but for the bulk of the flick, he might as well have stayed home.

Go see something else – pretty much anything else.

2 Stars.

Veronica McLaughlin